About dream, I don't think I will give up

15 years is the closest year to my dream, but because of some reasons, I missed it and failed in the exam, I have been very unwilling. After that, I went to Shanghai to work. Due to work reasons, our industry is basically the bottom of the master's degree, and the doctor's degree is the norm. The people I come into contact with are all TOP people in their fields at home and abroad. At that time, I also knew that it was no longer meaningful to take the exam. Age is not small, has not yet started a family, the body is still burdened with mortgage, a month 5K mortgage, with a monthly salary when I feel OK, but if I do not work, my family is not able to give me any support, let alone read a PhD? Of course, if I want to buy a house and study for a doctorate, my mother will also support me, but in the face of the uncertainty of the future, forgive me for not having the courage. I envy my brother's luck. At first, he failed in the postgraduate entrance exam, but later he was lucky enough to go abroad for a master's degree and then a PhD because of a school project. I know he has suffered a lot in this process, but I envy his fate. And I am more tragic…
Until now, 5 years later, I still do nothing, three people, from the bottom of my heart, I feel like a waste!
At the end of last year, an opportunity to go out with friends to start a business, in fact, that node is really embarrassing, because we did not expect to encounter the epidemic.
But I have been struggling, do not want to give up, entrepreneurship is also, I want to make money, money, mortgage is no longer a problem, studying abroad is not a problem. As for marriage, once looked forward to, but now more is calm, happy-go-lucky, everything goes with it!
Recently, the business has also encountered some problems, the partners disagree, I think the other side has no business thinking, low efficiency, and the other side thinks I lack scientific research thinking (the other side is a prestigious doctorate, scientific research background). We have also been very unhappy with each other, but fortunately, although we are stubborn people, will quarrel very fierce, but as long as the cite enough reasons and evidence, we can also convince each other. I don't want to fail, and this venture may be my last struggle.
Sometimes I hate who I used to be. I made the wrong choice at the key point in my life. I also hate why I didn't work hard enough to make my life so hard.
Dream is like an insurmountable mountain, has been chasing, obviously these things are easy for others to get, it is very difficult to me, whether it is a happy family, or reading a PhD. In fact, I think I should be easy to get, why is it so difficult now, maybe I am more demanding
And my entrepreneurial friends are also, once we are considered to be a high starting point of people, and then gradually disappear in the public, the only thing we have is that a unwilling heart, do not want to give up.
Let's just hope we survive this outbreak!

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