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People to middle age these three things do not do, otherwise bitter is their own

Middle age is a turning point in one's life stage, and it is also a stage where wisdom and maturity coexist. At this stage, people should reflect on their past, sum up experience and plan for the future. There are three things, after middle age, we should be careful to avoid self-inflicted consequences. First, do not overreach, feet firmly hidden in the heart. Middle-aged people should be well aware of their own abilities and limitations, and not blindly pursue illusory goals while neglecting the immediate work and responsibilities. Many middle-aged people are eager to make a breakthrough in their career, but neglect their family and physical health, which will be more than worth the loss, and eventually leave regrets. For example, Mr. Li pursued career success in middle age, worked overtime every day, and paid little attention to his family, resulting in estranged family relations and damaged physical health. This is a typical case of overreaching, so middle-aged people should know how to cherish everything in front of them, down to earth, and do not get lost in the illusory distance. When people reach middle age, they must find their own rhythm and continue to live well in accordance with their own rhythm in order to go further. Second, give up the good teacher, hollow as grain practice in the line. In middle age, many people have more or less achievements, at this time, we should maintain a humble attitude, do not be self-righteous, do not blindly give people advice, but should constantly improve their own cultivation and quality in humility. For example, when Ms. Zhang became a senior executive in her middle age, she often decided the direction of the company based on her own experience and opinions, ignoring the advice of others in her team. Such behavior is likely to lead to a decline in team morale, so that individuals in the company can not play their own advantages, and ultimately will inevitably weaken the cohesion of the entire team. Middle-aged people should give up this kind of attitude of being good to others and be vain, which can not only increase their own wisdom, but also improve the effectiveness and cohesion of the team. In middle age, one of the most valuable qualities is to understand that there is something to be done and something to be done. There are things that need to be done as a team, don't be individual heroism. When you need a team effort and you need to listen to the opinions of individuals in the team, don't act arbitrarily, or you may be isolated. Third, do not be "soft hearted" and help the poor with edges and corners. Middle-aged people tend to be kind and kind, but sometimes being too kind can lead to problems. When facing difficulties and crises, middle-aged people should remain resolute and firm, and not be blinded by their own kindness. For example, in middle age, Mr. Wang encountered difficulties in borrowing money from a relative. Although he knew that the relative was not a person he could trust, he lent it to him out of kindness, which eventually led to financial losses and the breakdown of interpersonal relationships. This is the negative impact of "gentleness of heart", middle-aged people in the face of difficulties and crises, should know how to maintain a certain degree of rationality and calm, rather than being affected by their own kindness. Middle age is a very important stage in life, we should bear in mind the three advice of aiming high, giving up good advice to teachers, and not "soft hearted". Only by staying grounded and confident, while remaining resolute and firm, can we live a more leisurely and happy life after middle age. If you have the three problems mentioned above, often do those three things intentionally or unintentionally, I hope you can quit after middle age, otherwise the pain is yourself.

Literature makes you stronger inside

In life you may be misunderstood for no reason; To be unjustifiably injured; Being slandered and insulted for no reason. In fact, the people who slander and hurt you know very well what they are doing, and all they do is to achieve their own hidden purposes. When you see through the ugliness of the performer's human nature, your heart will be relieved, and your heart will laugh at the poor actor, and there is no audience for your hard work. People have virtues, such as water to clear, square is square, will not be wrong to change the shape. Never underestimate the evil of human nature. People with selfish, narrow and greedy hearts, they usually hide it, but when they distort and expand their hearts, if they involve hidden purposes such as money desires, they will nakedly show the evil side of greed, ugly behavior, and the evil of human nature is presented without reservation. Long-term inner dark distorted view of things will be filled with evil thoughts, and finally will give themselves a bad result, the world has a result, everything done today will be presented in the future with a result. Ancient Greek proverb: If God would destroy it, he must first make it mad. Life is a process of cultivation. To cultivate the mind is to fear nature, and to be in awe will learn humility. Some people live a wonderful life, some people live an ordinary life, and some people live a tragedy. Those who strive to keep moving forward will live brilliantly; Wife good son filial piety family harmony ordinary contains happiness; Some people are bossy and paranoid and turn their lives into tragedies. How much you realize in life is how much you gain, or the old saying goes well: both young and old should leave themselves a way out. When you go through a low point in your life, ask yourself, what do you want from your heart? What do you want with your life? What is most important to you? Learn to let go of everything, give up all the things that hinder you, and withdraw in time to stop your losses. Life is short, I hope to the end of life do not sigh so, what kind of results worthy of my displaced life. Master Hongyi said: Life is the desire and desire, the process of decreasing, we must learn to give up and return, give up all the impetuous noise, return to inner peace. Read a lot when you are at the bottom of your life, so that your mind can rise to nirvana. I have been in adversity to read the "Lu Xun Complete works", this complete work is published in 1981, 96 re-edition of the old book, the book has dust also like the soul shame. Take it out of the bookcase and gently wipe it, and the book I bought when I was young is remembered to read some yellow pages today. It can be seen how young is fickle, floating in the air, intoxicated with some of the surface of life glitz, experience some hardships, will understand that books are the magnet of spiritual precipitation. When I was young, I did not understand Lu Xun, but when I read Lu Xun in middle age, I realized that the world under Mr. Lu Xun's pen is bleak, and a sharp pen is like a scalpel to analyze social conditions. Mr. Lu Xun is a litterateur, a thinker, but also a soldier. Only by reading Lu Xun can we help people out of the predicament of life. Professor Qian Liqun commented on Lu Xun: "The combination of hard-bone spirit and toughness spirit." The "Bring Doctrine" in this "and Jieting Essay" wrote: But none of us according to the etiquette of "reciprocity", said: bring! Of course, it is not a bad thing to just send it out, one is rich, and the two are generous. … Although it is said that the coal dug up in the ground will be enough for the whole world for hundreds of years. But what about hundreds of years from now? After a few hundred years, of course, we become spirits, or go to heaven or hell, but our children and grandchildren are here, so we should also leave them a little gift. Mr. Lu Xun's views on society, analysis of human nature, the spur to human opinion is not out of date until today. Reading Mr. Wang Zengqi's prose, marvel at Mr. Wang's writing from the ordinary life to start simple and simple and refined, prose written loose and God narrative calm and peaceful, quoting the meaning of profound, "Dragon Boat Festival duck egg" "Garden" only personal experience will write such a real feeling. I once lamented why I could not write such a good prose, it is because Mr. Wang Zengqi has a profound cultural heritage, he was influenced by traditional culture and ancient cultural thoughts when he was young, he could write such a brilliant article, practice the "sword" perfectly, and write the prose to a higher realm. Mr. Wang Zengqi wrote well, painted a good hand of Chinese painting, virtue and art Shuangxin was known as the last scholar-official. Mr. Wang Zengqi wrote in "Self-reported family" : "I like Song Confucianism's poem: all things are complacent, four times and people with good." To put it more literally: suddenly feel the business is full, know that there are many suffering people in the world. I think Confucians love people, so I call myself a "Chinese humanitarian." "Time does not live, time flows, only the inner spiritual and cultural beauty, is eternal." See Mr. Ye Jiaying said this sentence to understand what is eternal in life. Mr. Ye Jiaying has been displaced all her life, experienced the hardships of life when she was young, experienced the misunderstanding of her husband's domestic violence, and lost her daughter in middle age. In the face of hardships, her original heart has not changed, and she has selflessly dedicated her life to ancient poetry. Mr. Ye Jiaying sighed: Ancient poetry supported me through troubles, ancient poetry saved me. Elderly people donate their savings to encourage poetry creators. She once said, "The greatest function of poetry is to make you have an immortal and unrigid mind." Mr. Mu Xin once said: "You want me to destroy, I don't, I can't live up to the upbringing that art has given me!" Mr. Mu Xin was in prison, and in the 650,000 words of his manuscript, there was no blood indignation, no tearful complaints, but only aesthetic and philosophical thinking. What do you do when you're down in life? To raise the head straight waist to see the sky, calm and calm, do not argue, do not argue, clear from the clear, turbid from the turbid. Read quietly, think quietly, do your own thing quietly, deep reading accumulation precipitation thinking output. The function of literature is to make your heart stronger, help you out of suffering, beyond the self, literature is like a beam of light to lead you out of the darkness of life. Mr. Mu Xin said: "Usually only know that art makes people feel tender like water, and when a catastrophe is coming, I know that art also makes people have the heart of diamond." It was art that got me through the hardest times."

Positive work, the philosophy of the saint

Kong Fuzi is not a moralist who speaks of benevolence and righteousness, and what he teaches his students is not an abstract theory. He does not encourage his students to be nerds in the ivory tower, but rather to show their skills in the real world. One of his disciples Zixia said: "Learning and being good makes a scholar, and being good makes a scholar, and studying and working as an official should complement each other." There are many life experiences in the Analects of Confucius that teach students how to behave in the world. Some people say: It is better not to read than not to know people. The first thing to do in life is to learn to read people. Confucius taught, "Look at his reasons, see his reasons, and see where he lives." How can a man hide? How can a man hide?" To understand a person, there are three points: the first is to look at his motivation; The second is to observe his means of doing things; The third is to examine what he is comfortable doing. If these three points are clear, what else can people hide? These three points look simple, but it is actually not easy to do. Even old Master Confucius had mistakes, and he once said bitterly: Take people with words, and give them when they lose. Zaiyu was an excellent disciple of Confucius, and his eloquence was excellent. At first, Confucius heard him speak very insightful and liked him very much, but later found that the boy was a little inconsistent. Once, Zaiyu sleep during the day, Confucius looked very angry, said: "rotten wood can not be carved, the wall of dirt can not be carved, rotten wood can not be carved, the long pile of dirt walls can not be painted." That's a pretty good comment. It's every word. Not to mention this, Confucius went on to say, "From the beginning, I listen to others and believe in their actions; Now I listen to what people say and watch what they do. "At first, when I hear what people say, I believe what they do. Today, when I hear his words, I examine his deeds. It can be seen that to know people, first learn to speak. Confucius said, "If you do not know what you are saying, you cannot know who you are." However, Confucius gives people the feeling that he does not love to talk, he teaches students "gentlemen want to be slow in speech and quick in action", but in fact, Confucius not only loves to talk, but also a master of talking, he hates is "rhetoric", rhetoric, is "off-guard", full of mouth running train, east parents, west family short and so on. And Confucius speech is very careful, pay attention to "therefore less than the tongue", that is, a gentleman's word, four words can not be recalled. So, how should a gentleman speak? Confucius said, "If you are with words but not with them, you lose people; Do not go with words and with words." Should not say, lose friends; You shouldn't be talking nonsense, wasting your breath. Confucius also taught how to talk with teachers, leaders, etc., "What is not enough is called mania, what is not enough is hidden, what is not seen color is called blind." You rush to speak before it is your turn, this is rash; It is your turn to say, but you do not say, this is deliberately concealed; He who speaks without looking at the faces of others is blind. This is Confucius's philosophy of speaking. Confucius also had his own ideas about making friends. As we know, friends are very important in life. How to make friends? Confucius said there are three kinds of good friends and three kinds of bad friends. Good friends are: friends straight, friends understanding, friends informed, that is, honest people, honest people, well-informed people, these three kinds of people are good friends. Bad friends are: friends will be open, friendly and gentle, friends will be sycophant, that is, the heart of the evil and not right people, good at flattery, used to talk people, these three kinds of people are bad friends. About making friends, Confucius also has a general principle: no friend is better than oneself. Don't make friends with people who are not as good as you, of course, this is not to make everyone snobbish, but to communicate with people who are stronger than you in virtue, knowledge, and ability. It's important to have a sense of proportion when dealing with friends. Confucius said: "The number of the king, shame; The number of friends is sparse." It means that if you give repeated advice to the leader, you will incur humiliation; Repeated advice to a friend will lead to estrangement. What to do? "Advice and good way, can not stop, do not humiliate yourself", that is, Confucius said the middle way, to be impartial, compromise, do everything, to grasp the degree, grasp the heat, neither can not meet the requirements, can not do too much, the so-called too much.

Late night a little regret and feel worth it

Because I stayed up late last night, my eyebrows shook quickly to my forehead this morning, and because I got up late, I didn't have time to correct it, and I drew the same on the other side, no matter how big the matter is, I still need to pay attention to symmetry and beauty. Last night inadvertently brushed the "lurking" fragment, evoked the memory of the past. That was 14 or 15 years ago, when Yan Ni and Yao Chen were more popular because of My Own Swordsman, which happened to be led by Yao Chen. As for how they started watching the series at that time, the only thing we can be sure of now is that it was not at least because of the appearance level of the male lead (haha). In addition to the cruelty of war, there is also more hope and faith, and it also explains that people with common beliefs can love each other regardless of knowledge, the premise is to get along. Yu Zecheng in the play is a collection of wisdom, courage, courage, kindness, erudite equal to one, in line with all my standards for the soul, and must only appear in the script of the ideal man. And Cui Ping is the representative of ordinary working women, brave and upright, hard work, dare to love and hate, she does not know a big word, think what to say what, there is more than teach her how to fall in love, she can only think of the moon in the corn field, she will not use romantic words to describe the inner feelings, but can very accurately express their own mind, action can prove everything. And one of the things that she does have a lot of charm about is her confidence when she shoots. Later, when they were separated, a sacrifice made by many in those days, she did not cry. So love is not like what is written, it is a kind of inner embrace and watch. Because I stayed up too long, I was groggy today, a little regretful, but I felt it was worth it.

About dream, I don't think I will give up

15 years is the closest year to my dream, but because of some reasons, I missed it and failed in the exam, I have been very unwilling. After that, I went to Shanghai to work. Due to work reasons, our industry is basically the bottom of the master's degree, and the doctor's degree is the norm. The people I come into contact with are all TOP people in their fields at home and abroad. At that time, I also knew that it was no longer meaningful to take the exam. Age is not small, has not yet started a family, the body is still burdened with mortgage, a month 5K mortgage, with a monthly salary when I feel OK, but if I do not work, my family is not able to give me any support, let alone read a PhD? Of course, if I want to buy a house and study for a doctorate, my mother will also support me, but in the face of the uncertainty of the future, forgive me for not having the courage. I envy my brother's luck. At first, he failed in the postgraduate entrance exam, but later he was lucky enough to go abroad for a master's degree and then a PhD because of a school project. I know he has suffered a lot in this process, but I envy his fate. And I am more tragic…Until now, 5 years later, I still do nothing, three people, from the bottom of my heart, I feel like a waste!At the end of last year, an opportunity to go out with friends to start a business, in fact, that node is really embarrassing, because we did not expect to encounter the epidemic.But I have been struggling, do not want to give up, entrepreneurship is also, I want to make money, money, mortgage is no longer a problem, studying abroad is not a problem. As for marriage, once looked forward to, but now more is calm, happy-go-lucky, everything goes with it!Recently, the business has also encountered some problems, the partners disagree, I think the other side has no business thinking, low efficiency, and the other side thinks I lack scientific research thinking (the other side is a prestigious doctorate, scientific research background). We have also been very unhappy with each other, but fortunately, although we are stubborn people, will quarrel very fierce, but as long as the cite enough reasons and evidence, we can also convince each other. I don't want to fail, and this venture may be my last struggle.Sometimes I hate who I used to be. I made the wrong choice at the key point in my life. I also hate why I didn't work hard enough to make my life so hard.Dream is like an insurmountable mountain, has been chasing, obviously these things are easy for others to get, it is very difficult to me, whether it is a happy family, or reading a PhD. In fact, I think I should be easy to get, why is it so difficult now, maybe I am more demandingAnd my entrepreneurial friends are also, once we are considered to be a high starting point of people, and then gradually disappear in the public, the only thing we have is that a unwilling heart, do not want to give up.Let's just hope we survive this outbreak!

To a confused young friend

Writing this article is a bit of a cliche, but I think it should be written. The reason is that a small fellow of mine, I went to college that year, he was born, the generation is also younger than me, today wechat chat with me a few words, said that I want to talk with me all night long, very earnest, has been looking at me as a role model, which makes me very ashamed, but as his elder, I also want to talk with him. He said he was confused and had no direction and didn't know what to do. I talked with him for a few words, and later told him that I would write an article, not only him, but also my children: nephews, nephews, sons and children of relatives and friends can see that it is not good to walk during the epidemic, and if you can listen to it, you may be able to take less detours, if you can do so, it is best. I talked to him about the solidification of class and the inheritance of genes, which is also reasonable. The environment of growth is different, people have family design growth routes and life planning. As a child from the countryside, there is no planning, but there are still some feelings. The rural origin is a kind of wealth for me, and I have a strong ability to fight against the fight when I grow up, but it may also be a hindering to some extent - the innate lack of vision and height. Because of my rural background, I cultivated a simple character, but I was also very late in my education. At that time, the only thing I did when I went to school was to fight hogweed and play with a group of children. I spent a carefree childhood, without desire or desire, without worry or fear, without fear or constraint. The family does not expect you to be able to test out, my childhood ideal is to be a worker, because the parents' vision and the surrounding environment is so, when a worker is very fascinating! Cousin was admitted to the secondary school, became the glory of the village, relatives and friends one by one please eat, because this account will be transferred out. I often say that I can read a doctor, completely by mistake, never thought about it, never tree ambition, as a model to encourage later learning is very far-fetched, because there is no concept, no one at home to guide, but no one will give you a plan for life, the highest education is my old lady, junior high school graduation, she saw me at that time to read a doctor is very difficult, while working at school, Also told me that we can't do it, don't read crazy, she was afraid that I could not bear the pressure crazy. Now many farmers go to work in the city, even buy a house in the city, marry a wife and children, but the circle of life is still these people, contact with these farmers, the hoe was originally placed in the yard, now it is carried to the upstairs, the vision and realm is difficult to have a big improvement, affect the next generation, it is difficult to have a big breakthrough, because I am also a farmer, so it may also be on the cap. But there's nothing wrong with what I said. One of my old leaders, in his early thirties to the department level, once told me that the height of people's thinking is not enough experience and experience is difficult to have a big promotion, by reading thinking is not useless, but will not be of great use, I think it is very reasonable. When I was in college, children from the countryside wanted to go to the city after graduation, children from the city wanted to go to the big city after graduation, children from the big city wanted to go to the provincial capital, children from the provincial capital wanted to go to Beijing, and children from Beijing wanted to go abroad. Another example is dreaming, you never dream of things you have not seen, the ideal is the same, jump to reach more realistic. Having said all this, what I want to express is the importance of enlightenment. I graduated from college into the factory, and then laid off, and then a series of postgraduate entrance examination, employment, resignation, doctoral examination, employment, resignation, employment, temporary post, resignation, employment, enterprises have done, career has done, private enterprises have done, central enterprises have done, every step is almost not premeditated, basically because of helplessness by the progress of the majority. Imagine, I graduated from the undergraduate into the factory did not lay off, the unit barely maintained 20 years did not close down, up to now the probability that I may be just a laid-off worker! Running around for a living! Because of these experiences, there may also be more communication with the younger generation, how to take detours. What I say is not necessarily true, it varies from person to person, from time to time, from event to event, from place to place. First of all, it's hard to be lonely. School is a hard job, the first time I entered the university campus, full of excitement, after a period of time full of anger, several times in and out, and now back to the university campus, full of envy, mentality has changed. Young people, take this time to read as much as possible, miscellaneous books, professional books can be, as long as you want to read, but don't play games. When I was a child, there was no book to read at home, the university had a book and time did not cherish, read a lot of miscellaneous books: Chinese medicine, painting, Go to see a lot, later also useful, we did not have a computer network mobile phone, TV every Friday and six nights to open, usually do not have to see, now looking back on it is just good, our generation is very solid basic skills, because you in addition to reading is not too good place, even we did not get a diploma, now are technical authorities, That's the foundation, plus the hard work after graduation. Now science and technology is developed, especially the application of computers, which is also not good, the good is very efficient, commercial software calculation is very convenient, you do not need to understand the meaning of the equations can also calculate the number! The bad thing is that the concept is generally not clear, the sci article written a bunch of formulas, they do not understand, it is just a form, because the real calculation is handed over to commercial software! At that time, we had to program our own calculations, test several levels of partial differential equations, and answer the physical meaning of each item, and now it is difficult for young people to answer it, and what I want to say is the importance of basic skills, and the basis for analogy is this. Reading to go to school as far as possible on the head, read a doctor, postdoctoral, don't ask me why, as long as I believe that I will not harm you on it, because I go to school off and on, eat very thanks. In the system, to develop, age is also a barrier, this is not to say more, you really can survive the future will be grateful to me. What is the purpose of reading? I don't know! Everyone is different, but I want to at least learn to distinguish ability, analytical ability, which requires a professional but also to learn logic, whether it is liberal arts or science, to understand logic, do not understand logic is unclear, easy to believe, as for technical skills are relatively studious, college graduation time is in the early 1980s, when there are warlocks said can change water into oil, I said nonsense, Hydrogen and oxygen are burned to produce water, the hydroelectricity process hydrogen and oxygen, it takes a huge amount of energy to open the hydrogen and oxygen bond, water can burn, produce what? Where does the energy to break the hydrogen - oxygen bond come from? This is the basic logic, reasonable is reasonable, reasonable is legal, most of them. To set up long-term and near-term goals, this is not imaginary, only come to realize that you will be in the future. For example, if you choose the North Star at night, you will not lose your way, if you want to choose a very close light, walk may be confused, but you can not always overreach, recent goals must also have - find yourself, casually, as long as it can help you, such as writing an article, watching a movie with friends, you can, because the recent goals continue to produce a sense of accomplishment, which is also needed. This society is cruel! This is what you must realize, you only have the value of being used, you will be valuable, that is, you have to be useful! No one will pity you, no one will actively consider your interests! Unless you're valuable. Don't always think about the leader, one stage you are the leader of the person - because this time he needs you; Another stage may not be - his needs change! The world's martial arts only fast not broken, the world's talent is only capable, in any unit do not be dispensable people, dispensable the final result is nothing! And, very important, how to deal with the tasks sent by the leader at work! A task, which no one has done before, is given to you, and you will choose between two emotions, for sure! The first is resentment, who will not do, let me do, leadership is really not something, see my black eyes, so you will certainly do well, and will not grow. The other is to seize the opportunity, who will not do, the leader gave me, is an opportunity, it is equivalent to the unit to open your salary to let you learn things, do well, you master the technology that others will not, you won the opportunity, even if you did not do well, you also learn things, salary bonus did not affect - mentality is very important! Write here is already midnight, scattered, later think of in finishing it, hope to be useful to young people, do not want to rely on the old - because I have not been old, just like encouraging you to study hard, I am like this!

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